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What men and women want from dating

Published by: armboy on 2nd Apr 2011 | View all blogs by armboy
Women want cuddles & conversation after sex. Men only want pepperoni pizza.
Article submitted by Mark Millicap of Get Your Body Healthy

Men and women excel at messing up their love lives. This  is why romantic songs and movies and greeting cards are so popular. They  bring us a world of Fabio and Julio and Romeo, instead of the world of  your unshaven husband asleep on the couch, in his underwear, snoring,  drool dangling from his lips, a half-eaten bag of Cheetos spilled out  onto the floor he's never vacuumed. But don't despair. There is hope. Here, then, in partial  fulfillment of the conditions of my community service sentence, are the  Major Romantic Mistakes Made By Men And Women.

On dates, women like to be taken to fine restaurants, and sophisticated evenings of theater, and then directly home, with perhaps some casual flirting at the door, before saying good night.

If men had their way, the date would consist of a  triple Wham-Bam Burger
at Hooters restaurant, the latest war movie, and  then having at each other like wild monkeys at the Sin-Sational Motor  Lodge, featuring heated, revolving water beds, complimentary day-glo  love gels, and overhead mirrors. Or so I've heard.

Men use cologne when they start dating.  This gives women the mistaken impression that their man naturally  smells like an exotic rain forrest, and will always smell that way. Is  it any wonder, then, that problems arise later in life, when the man  feels he's got the woman and no longer needs the cologne?

These days,  his natural aroma is a mixture of beer, tobacco, three day old underwear, the dog, last night's pork 'n garlic burrito, really funky  sweat, and something that died an agonizing death months ago.

Women expect compliments. And are upset when the  compliments don't come. But how can you realistically expect compliments  from a gender that believes once they pick up their socks from the  floor, they've completed their house cleaning chores for the week?

At best, men might offer an occasional, "Hey, nice drive"  to their golf partner. But the emotional sensitivity required to go  from "Hey, nice drive," to "Where you walk, flowers grow," is just not  present in the adult male.

Men are always looking at other women. If an attractive  woman appears, male radar activates, and they immediately think, "Gee, I  wonder what it would be like to have uninhibited sex with that woman,  without having to be sensitive to her needs." Somehow, this irritates  women. 

Women expect men to cuddle and talk after having sex.  Cuddling and talking is bearable for maybe the first minute and a half  afterwards. Beyond that, centuries of male genetics kick in, so that  even while the woman may be talking about her feelings that you are  different from any other men she's ever known, the man's brain is filled  only with images of having a pepperoni pizza while watching the Playboy  Channel. And the Playboy Channel has no cuddling and talking after sex.  They just cut to another couple having sex and not cuddling or talking  afterwards.

Men believe that God wouldn't have given them the ability  to make gross noises with their various body parts, if He didn't want  them to do so. Okay, let's, just for the sake of argument, say this is  true. Nonetheless, it nauseates women. Yes, even if you say "Excuse me"  afterwards. Or pretend the dog did it.

Women feel they don't have to inform their men why  they're upset; men should just know. The odds are really against this  one working, simply because men make so many mistakes all day long, that  to have to guess which of them is ticking their woman off, would be not  only time-consuming, but sheer luck.

Men expect women to make dinner, take care of the house,  and be eager for sex every night. And what do men do in return? Once  every three weeks, they're asked to open the lid of a jar. After doing  so, they get this look on their faces, as if to say, "What would you do  without me, babe?"

Women expect men to say, "I love you." This one is not a  mistake. Women need to hear it. And men need to say it a lot more  often. In fact, I'd like to take this opportunity now to say it to my  girlfriend. "Ruth, I love you. And I'll be right in, honey. I'm just  finishing my pizza."

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